My father died this year. His name was John Vincent Tomassi and he was 76.

In 2027, he would have been turning 80, I would be 60 and if we would have followed through with our plan, we would be walking in the Italian towns from whence our ancestors hailed 300 years after our piece of the Tomassi family is recorded to have lived there.

But together, we didn’t do any of the things we talked about when we started researching our Italian heritage five years ago. Time, health, distance, and reality overshadowed and eventually overcame our initial excitement.

I wrote about this goal for the Ancestors Portal in March 2021: 300 years a Tomassi. Truth be told, I think I was more excited about it than he was. I was captivated by the old Italian script and fell in love with the romantic stories of ancestors conjured in my head.

I personally had delusions of us returning to Italy, as Italian citizens, to our ancestry roots, walking the streets, meeting the people, and speaking Italian.

Unfortunately I’m no closer to speaking Italian, but in October 2022, my brother and I ventured on a trip through our ancestry towns that allowed us to experience a small part of our family history.

The journey we took connected us physically, mentally and emotionally to our roots. Just before we departed on our quest, I connected with a direct cousin of my father’s. At 82 years old, she is an incredible wealth of knowledge, an inspiration, and an all around beautiful person. Although she and my father weren’t able to reconnect before he died, we continue to speak often and I cherish the moments and memories she provides to fill in small holes of our family lore.

She introduced me to another Tomassi, in Rome, who, when I met him at the end of our 2-week trip, relayed to me his philosophy that all Tomassi’s are “cousins.” I continue to use that term often. He even showed me a book from 1971, entitled “The History of Guarcino,” with one page highlighting the Tomassi Family.

It illustrated the family crest, highlighted our ancestor, Cardinale Giacomo Tomassi, who died in 1304, and had a palace named after him, and reflected the names of many Tomassi nuns who wore the monastic habit in the 16th and 18th centuries at the monastery San Luca, in Guarcino. I’ve contacted the monastery with hope of more information, but continue to await their response.

As well, the page states the Tomassi name is “extinct,” which of course I know not to be true; I’m proof of that. But also through my research with the Ancestors Portal, my 6th great grandfather was born in Fagnano Alto, L’Aquila, Abruzzo in 1727.

Before meeting our cousin in Rome, my brother and I arrived in Italy two weeks earlier in Amaseno, Frosinone, Lazio. It was there we met with our cousin from the Pisterzi side of the family.

My father’s uncle was Alberto Pisterzi and was a direct relation to the Pisterzi’s in Amaseno. Another part of our quest in Amaseno was to obtain a certified copy of my great grandfather’s birth certificate. With a bit of waiting and a short lesson in why we should speak Italian, we accomplished our first mission.

In Amaseno, we were also able to meet and thank Don Italo Cardarilli, whom I credit with setting me on the path to find our family roots.

Just before entering Abruzzo, we made a short stop in Guarcino to visit the birthplace and palace of Cardinale Giacomo Tomassi. We secretly expected some sort of fanfare as we drove into the small, quiet village, but nothing of the sort happened. Instead we enjoyed the beautiful sights, walked the small paths and stood in the archway named after our most famous ancestor – Cardinale Giacomo Tomassi.

We moved on to Bugnara seeking to fulfill our next mission of retrieving a certified copy of our great grandmother, Anna Incorvati. While there, we stayed in the beautiful town of Sulmona. It was there we met with another cousin from the Incorvati side of the family. She was a wonderful host and showed us the historic city with its amazing intact Roman aqueduct and world famous confetti candies.

Also while staying in Sulmona, we ventured to the small town of Cerchio to retrieve a certified copy of the birth certification of our other great grandmother, Adalgisa Mastrantonio. The comune worker in Cerchio was one of a kind. He not only found the original birth certificate (and offered to assist further), he let me come behind the counter to actually touch the 122-year old document. I stood in awe at the large page and wondered why it wasn’t locked away somewhere, but thankful it wasn’t so I could personally witness it.

My great grandmother Ada was the only great grandparent on my father’s side that I actually had the honor of knowing as a child and touching her birth certificate brought back faint memories of her.

To end our amazing trip, we finally entered the small town of Fagnano Alto, L’Aquila, Abruzzo; the place that started my ancestral journey and sparked my interest to find the roots of the Tomassi family.

Oddly we found the town totally abandoned. However about 80 percent of the buildings were fully renovated as if they have been built yesterday. In the town and municipality we found Castello di Fagnano, a stone bridge from the 1st century and the church where five Tomassi generations were baptized.

As I walked the empty streets I wondered which of the buildings my ancestors lived and worked in. I also wondered why it was so renovated and why nobody was living there. I asked at the municipality, but our language disparity was too great for any real understanding. But the feeling of standing in my ancestral town was breathtaking.

I know my father would have loved the trip, but at the time his poor health didn’t allow him to take the adventure.

Of course we visited many other sights during the entire 2-week trip and my brother and I spoke with our father daily to update him on our progress. We also spoke with cousins, aunts and uncles who became acutely interested in our quest to discover family roots, and we connected with family members in Italy of whom we would have never had the opportunity to meet without this trip.

I don’t know if my original goal of attaining Italian citizenship will ever come to fruition, but I am thankful I found the Ancestors Portal that allowed us the opportunity to peek into our past and mine gems of information that sat undiscovered for many, many years.